Mom: “You’re the only teenager that spends their whole day on the internet”
(via sarcasmismybestfriend)
“why is that dog wearing glasses”
“because his insurance wouldn’t pay for contacts”
(via the-blind-banditt)
(via the-blind-banditt)
8-inch chocolate penis that oozes fondant cream… Fresh mint fondant, Valencia orange fondant, Williams Pear liqueur fondant, Mozart chocolate liqueur fondant, Cointreau liqueur fondant and Irish coffee liqueur fondant.
Okay but is it possible to get the filling colored red? Because obviously the best use for these is to make a gif or video where you’re licking and sucking at one seductively, making bedroom eyes at the camera, and then you BITE THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN HALF AND SHRIEK YOUR VICTORY AS THE DELICIOUS BLOOD-FILLING DRIPS FROM YOUR VICIOUS MAW.
This site scares me so much.
Reblogging because that damn comment
(Source: faunasworld, via the-blind-banditt)
do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while
(Source: megaultracass, via the-blind-banditt)
